Dearest, you will forgive me if I tell you I have been housebound for a few days as I cannot walk. I have sprained my left ankle really badly.
First, accident on Thursday morning 9am when I went for my 2 mile run. Didn't feel too bad. Applied ice and hoped pain would go.
Then on Friday I had my second accident, whilst I was faffing around with my keyless immobiliser. I caught my left foot between the car sill and the pavement and whilst pulling my foot out, ripped my ankle to shreds and am now immobilised just like my R.
It was so painful, that I called my Private Health Insurance and started a claim in case I needed to see a Foot and Ankle Orthopaedic Surgeon. The one I go to treats members of the Royal Ballet. The last time I saw him I buggered up both feet after a ballooning accident in Egypt. He sorted me out in 2 weeks. Thankfully, this time the damage is not too bad and I don't think I will need him, I hope.
To err is human, to forgive divine. 
Going for the sympathy vote then, smart move

Seriously, I'm sorry you are having such a painful time, but if you will insist on indulging in treacherous activities such as running, getting in and out of cars and messing about with aptly named immobilisers, what can you expect

I hope your ankle heals well and quickly, that medical intervention may not be required and you will soon be back to your Egyptian ballooning best.
Reassuring and fortunate to have private health insurance, we have it too and it proved to be a god send during my partner's cancer treatment last year.
You are forgiven your forum transgressions

Anyway, I think someone might like their kerb alloyed thread back....sorry Herbie!