Author Topic: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!  (Read 4211 times)

Offline MrBounce

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The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« on: 12 June 2013, 20:00 »
Our fence fell down in high winds so our Landlady's 84-year old "Handyman" (Tim) has put one up for us. It is honestly the worst thing resembling a "fence" I have ever seen. I am all for recycling but... It's fair to say Tim probably failed woodwork at school.

That's the top of the post by the wall. Forgive me for being ignorant, but I am pretty sure that the wood on top should still be in one piece?


The fence in all its glory. 6 different types of wood; the most prominent of course is the recycled & varnished skirting board.



Fence posts are usually sturdy items held in with large screws with oversized rawlplugs. Not our Tim. He just uses big nails into the brickwork. Nice!



That's the end fence post. It ain't hard wood. Oh no. Nothing but the finest used battered soft wood; presumably from the nearest skip. It's split, too so that's a bonus.



Oh no! Some of our finest skirting board has cracked. From where Tim has hit it with a hammer no doubt. Love the use of 3 different types of nails. One appears to be a felting tack. Way to go.



There appears to be a bit missing. It's unclear whether Tim had run out of wood or whether it's an "art" thing. If you're in Ipswich & have a skip outside your house with wood in it, expect it to be empty soon.



Knots in your recycled wood? No problem; Tim just knocks 'em out.



It seems we have high winds coming. I for one can't wait...

All comments welcome  :grin:


Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline Wayne

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #1 on: 12 June 2013, 20:02 »
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That has to the worst woodwork I have ever seen.

Offline T_J_G

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #2 on: 12 June 2013, 20:17 »
Pahahaha!

Awesome job! I'd be we'll happy having that mess outside my house!

Offline Mr Blue

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #3 on: 12 June 2013, 20:19 »
skirting board  :grin:
:)

Offline RandomJord

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #4 on: 12 June 2013, 20:21 »
its got character?
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Offline RandomJord

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #5 on: 12 June 2013, 20:22 »
PS Tim's a f**king legend with balls of brass to have the nerve to put that up and be happy with it!
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Offline Ginge 35Edition

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #6 on: 12 June 2013, 20:35 »
It's a conversation piece at least!

Offline Sam

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #7 on: 12 June 2013, 20:38 »
I can't see the problem?


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Offline barrym381

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #8 on: 12 June 2013, 21:13 »
I can't see the problem?
take tims glasses off then  :grin:

Offline welshdean

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Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
« Reply #9 on: 12 June 2013, 21:28 »
Tim seems to have looked up the word " fence "  in the dictionary and just dug out whatever he could use to match the description.

Fine bit of work that  :huh: