it gets better
his missus doesn't like him speeding so (apparently) he never did more than 90 in the A3
he lives 1/2 mile from work and complained that he barely got 250 miles from a tank despite everyone telling him that he's driving too and from home 'on the choke'
when driving one of the works vans he commented that it had 'too much power' Most powerful van we got is a 115bhp Nissan Primastar DCI
oh and he sh!t himself when he picked up his new car as he planted his foot in 3rd and the traction control light flashed