How do you deal with...

[MrBounce]

...a death in the family?  My wife's dad's partner has just died after a long battle with a nasty aggressive form of cancer. I seem to have gone into "organising mode" where everything is matter of fact and non-emotional. I did the same when my Nan died. I am upset, but I just seem to shut out the emotional stuff to deal with later. Is this normal?

[AudiA8Quattro]

Everyone deals with bad news in different ways..
Sorry to hear about the bad news.

[Diamond Hell]

I am upset, but I just seem to shut out the emotional stuff to deal with later. Is this normal?

Sounds like my modus operandi under these conditions.

Often means you get nailed to speak at funerals and suchlike on the basis that you won't dissolve into a blubbering mess.

Just about managed it with my uncle who died last year.

Good luck to you and try to remember to take some time out to just sit somewhere out of it and bawl your eyes out at some point.

[haf1zur]

Everyone does deal with it differently

My Aunt passed away a few weeks ago then a close mate was found hanged in Epping Forest the following week, apparently not suspicious, but no notes, no calls or anything, very happy go lucky guy as well

been keeping my self busy, though get emotional at random intervals sometimes

sorry to hear that though

[Seanl]

I did the same when my dad died a few years ago. Simply fell and hit his head, but had massive swelling of the brain. Was in hospital in a coma for 2 weeks before he died. The whole family were in bits, and I was running round trying to make sure everyone was eating, sleeping and everyone else was kept in the picture. Managed to hold it together for a while, but cried myself to sleep for months afterwards. Just try and visit close friends that don't know the family too well and off load your feelings on them, I'm sure they will all be there if you need them. Sorry for your families loss.

[CCGTI]

My Grandad died Xmas day just gone, I felt i had to stay strong for my dad and not show emotion as my uncle (dads older brother) had died 2 months befor and we couldnt make the funeral as it was out in south africa, never really got emotional as i seem to just shut out the emotion

[tg1]

i'd say it was pretty normal, distract and avoid. saves thinking about it.

as long as you're dealing with it one way or another thats the main thing.

i dont deal with stuff like that too well, when my grandad died i wanted to smack the world silly, as obviously it wasnt his fault he smoked and got emphezemia  couldnt see what was wrong with lashing out at anyone and everyone. took weeks to stop, embarrisingly i was keen on slapping the priest as he didn't know my grandad and said "we'll all miss you" in his eugology he didnt know him and i found it a heinous crime. I know its not clever but thats how i dealt with it.  :embarassed: (btw i never slapped the priest)

try to be strong so your wife can draw strength from you.

[MrBounce]

Thanks for your thoughts peeps.

Mrs B is ok and work have been fantastic - they have kept me busy and highly amused all day by not allowing me to think about it. 

[daz veedub]

sorry 2 hear mate

when my dad passed away it was hard for me to show emotions so dealt with it my own way by keeping my head occupied with other things