As others have said just use a specialist at least they have a clue unlike most main dealers.
The service manager is kicking off because HE cocked up and is worried about how he gets in trouble imo. His name approving of the exchange will be on the paperwork, so HE gave you genuine wheels and missed the ones you had were copies. He will be crapping himself as his testicals are probably in a vice right now.
Don't worry about the ban, I was banded by northeast garages and it never caused me any hassle.