GolfGTIforum.co.uk

General => General discussion => Topic started by: MrBounce on 12 June 2013, 20:00

Title: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: MrBounce on 12 June 2013, 20:00
Our fence fell down in high winds so our Landlady's 84-year old "Handyman" (Tim) has put one up for us. It is honestly the worst thing resembling a "fence" I have ever seen. I am all for recycling but... It's fair to say Tim probably failed woodwork at school.

That's the top of the post by the wall. Forgive me for being ignorant, but I am pretty sure that the wood on top should still be in one piece?
(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence003_zpscb966fbf.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence003_zpscb966fbf.jpg.html)

The fence in all its glory. 6 different types of wood; the most prominent of course is the recycled & varnished skirting board.

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence001_zpsa8accf46.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence001_zpsa8accf46.jpg.html)

Fence posts are usually sturdy items held in with large screws with oversized rawlplugs. Not our Tim. He just uses big nails into the brickwork. Nice!

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence002_zps81a5d546.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence002_zps81a5d546.jpg.html)

That's the end fence post. It ain't hard wood. Oh no. Nothing but the finest used battered soft wood; presumably from the nearest skip. It's split, too so that's a bonus.

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence004_zps423d95a9.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence004_zps423d95a9.jpg.html)

Oh no! Some of our finest skirting board has cracked. From where Tim has hit it with a hammer no doubt. Love the use of 3 different types of nails. One appears to be a felting tack. Way to go.

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence005_zpsdb6ca541.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence005_zpsdb6ca541.jpg.html)

There appears to be a bit missing. It's unclear whether Tim had run out of wood or whether it's an "art" thing. If you're in Ipswich & have a skip outside your house with wood in it, expect it to be empty soon.

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence007_zps51c70f93.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence007_zps51c70f93.jpg.html)

Knots in your recycled wood? No problem; Tim just knocks 'em out.

(http://i511.photobucket.com/albums/s353/MrBounce38/NewFence008_zpsa3de0f06.jpg) (http://s511.photobucket.com/user/MrBounce38/media/NewFence008_zpsa3de0f06.jpg.html)

It seems we have high winds coming. I for one can't wait...

All comments welcome  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Wayne on 12 June 2013, 20:02
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That has to the worst woodwork I have ever seen.
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: T_J_G on 12 June 2013, 20:17
Pahahaha!

Awesome job! I'd be we'll happy having that mess outside my house!
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Mr Blue on 12 June 2013, 20:19
skirting board  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: RandomJord on 12 June 2013, 20:21
its got character?
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: RandomJord on 12 June 2013, 20:22
PS Tim's a f**king legend with balls of brass to have the nerve to put that up and be happy with it!
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Ginge 35Edition on 12 June 2013, 20:35
It's a conversation piece at least!
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Sam on 12 June 2013, 20:38
I can't see the problem?
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: barrym381 on 12 June 2013, 21:13
I can't see the problem?
take tims glasses off then  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: welshdean on 12 June 2013, 21:28
Tim seems to have looked up the word " fence "  in the dictionary and just dug out whatever he could use to match the description.

Fine bit of work that  :huh:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: benvictors on 12 June 2013, 22:23
Plain and simply.......... brilliant  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Toby on 12 June 2013, 22:26
Was the adjoining neighbors happy also ?


 :shocked:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Lewy on 12 June 2013, 22:28
Tim......nice but dim.
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: AudiA8Quattro on 12 June 2013, 22:38
Is it a temp repair or is it supposed to be permanent?
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: barrym381 on 12 June 2013, 22:40
Is it a temp repair or is it supposed to be permanent?
would you let him back to try build a new 1 if this is his 1st attempt  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: thai-wronghorse on 12 June 2013, 22:57
Well it's certainly rustic.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: AudiA8Quattro on 12 June 2013, 22:59
Is it a temp repair or is it supposed to be permanent?
would you let him back to try build a new 1 if this is his 1st attempt  :grin:

I've bodged a few things in my time  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: barrym381 on 12 June 2013, 23:01
Is it a temp repair or is it supposed to be permanent?
would you let him back to try build a new 1 if this is his 1st attempt  :grin:

I've bodged a few things in my time  :grin:
me too  :laugh: but its prob the only thing old tim has nailed in a while  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: murraymint on 12 June 2013, 23:25
Priceless, you'll miss that sh!tty fence when you get a proper one
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Bill_the_Bear on 13 June 2013, 06:54
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: love it!

It's not even as if he can claim he didn't know what it was supposed to look like as there appears to be a perfectly good one on your neighbours other boundary not 10ft away. Lol
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Granta Gti on 13 June 2013, 07:38
Ha ha I like the gap!
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Rhyso on 13 June 2013, 08:50
Epic  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Guy on 13 June 2013, 08:55
 :grin:

perhaps she is on a limited budget and was only paying him two cups of tea and a chocolate digestive?

you have a fence, completed on time and within budget, go Tim!  :nerd:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: kodkod.84 on 13 June 2013, 10:19
As someone who works in the construction industry there is nothing unusual about that  :whistle:

Could have put a gate in for the postman though :)
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Bill_the_Bear on 13 June 2013, 10:22
As someone who works in the construction industry there is nothing unusual about that  :whistle:

Could have put a gate in for the postman though :)

Postie just needs to lean lightly on it and boom! he's got his "gate"!
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: adam- on 13 June 2013, 12:51
Way to go, Tim!  :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Jay on 13 June 2013, 14:23
It's Aerodynamic and built to let the wind pass through without the fence being blown over - I can't see the problem really, other than needing a lick of paint.
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Kerrse on 13 June 2013, 15:58
I would have told my landlady she talking the piss lol & to get that unsafe piece of crap removed

 :grin:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: Pez on 13 June 2013, 18:13
You could always give it a sly kicking when the high winds come...  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: MrBounce on 13 June 2013, 18:37
You could always give it a sly kicking when the high winds come...  :whistle:

As if I would do such a thing...  :rolleyes: :wink:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: OakeyDoak16v on 14 June 2013, 01:12
Seems legit.  :smiley:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: nige smith on 14 June 2013, 21:41
Give him a break, he's 84!  :wink:
Title: Re: The Sh!ttiest Fence in the World!
Post by: james2 on 15 June 2013, 19:20
lol  :grin:, thats taking the piss.  :laugh: