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General => General discussion => Topic started by: Exonian on 12 May 2013, 13:49
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To cut a long story short:
I live in a cul de sac, I've been there for years as have most of the neighbours.
Now just down the road a bit on the opposite side is a guy who bought his house a few years ago. Smarmy git, salesman type, totally up his own derriere and lets just say 'thick skinned'.
A few years ago his wife had a lucky escape by divorcing him. They didn't sell the house though but he lived in it for a few years and had lodgers. Most of them ok but one was a prick that caused a bit of friction by bad parking. Then this guy suddenly chucked all his lodgers out overnight and moved in with his new slightly dodgy girlfriend. He then rented the house out and a sigh of relief was breathed in the neighbourhood as the new family were nice, they had a big 4x4 which they parked considerately and all was happy in the world.
Suddenly Mr Neighbour decides he's booting them out and moving back in. So he appears again, all quiet for a few weeks.
Then a big long wheelbase van arrives and parks up outside. And then a small saxo type thing.
So that's 3 cars.
One big estate (his).
A giant van (lodger).
And a little French POS (lodger?).
The guy opposite is really wound up as he can hardly get on and off his hardstanding.
His immediate neighbour has ceased to speak to him.
And it is slightly hindering my access.
Now the guys in the road are a bit peed off but the wives are ready to kill him.
So I thought that for a bit of amusement what would be a good way of peeing him off without breaking any laws, without doing anything dangerous and discreet enough for him not to know he's being deliberately targeted?
The guy who is really peed off with him has a good sense of humour so he would be the one doing the pranks and we'd not tell the other neighbours what he was up to as someone is bound to run off at the mouth laughing about it to a friend and it would eventually get back.
We don't want a war in the road, just to have a laugh as this ignorant berk gets his comeuppance as the big van could easily park on the main road around the corner thus not blocking anyone's access like it is now then the French POS could be tucked away sensibly.
Yes, people have moaned at him and all he does is shrug his shoulders.
The point I'm focussing on is that he parks on his hardstanding (big Mondeo estate) but doesn't put the car in the garage. He keeps his business stuff in his garage so parks his car so that it pokes out over the pavement onto the road thus leaving a gap so he can open his garage door and load his boot without having to go to all of the trouble to move his car all of a few feet, the lazy f*****g c**t!!!!
So whilst he's at work during the day one day my neighbour can get to work...
But what?
It's gotta be legal and safe and amusing for the rest of the road to see!!!!
:smiley:
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put a brick inside a ball outside his garage an watch him kick it away :smiley:
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The point I'm focussing on is that he parks on his hardstanding (big Mondeo estate) but doesn't put the car in the garage. He keeps his business stuff in his garage so parks his car so that it pokes out over the pavement onto the road thus leaving a gap so he can open his garage door and load his boot without having to go to all of the trouble to move his car all of a few feet, the lazy f*****g c**t!!!!
Should he put his car in the garage then...I don't put mine in the garage...
But as for the practical joke...hmmmm...let me think...order a skip to be out on the drive...pymt on collection...that he has to pay...maybe :huh:
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Send him a stripogram with the campest male stripper you can find singing a shocking song of what a good lover he is! :laugh:
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Order a variety of takeaways to be delivered to his house at 30 minute intervals :wink:
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Order a variety of takeaways to be delivered to his house at 30 minute intervals :wink:
Yeah, after 12 midnight. :evil:
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The point I'm focussing on is that he parks on his hardstanding (big Mondeo estate) but doesn't put the car in the garage. He keeps his business stuff in his garage so parks his car so that it pokes out over the pavement onto the road thus leaving a gap so he can open his garage door and load his boot without having to go to all of the trouble to move his car all of a few feet, the lazy f*****g c**t!!!!
Should he put his car in the garage then...I don't put mine in the garage...
But as for the practical joke...hmmmm...let me think...order a skip to be out on the drive...pymt on collection...that he has to pay...maybe :huh:
Loads of people don't park in their garages BUT they don't leave their car blocking the pavement and hanging out onto the road especially when they have 2 other vehicles in the household and one of which is a 'kin great van. Grrrrrrrrr
Two other guys in the road drive LWB vans and they park theirs around the corner where there are no houses.
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Loads of taxis. (1 paki comming to england the whole street goes to the port) :grin:
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keep 'em coming!
What went through my mind was buying an old car that's just about runs and parking it right up against his garage door and leaving it there minus a key. But I'm not sure on the legality of this and also how would you do it so it couldn't be traced back?
This would give him a much longer term problem and if he phoned for someone to come and tow it away then another neighbour might also park inconsiderately so that the truck couldn't get thru.
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We have these sort of problems in the cul-de-sac i live in and its a problem replicated in a thousand other places around the country because everyone owns two or even three cars and has a garage full of 'stuff' , realistically there is not much you can do as you'll just end up antagonising people and making life even more stressful.
You could always try complaining to the local council stressing poor access in an emergency situation.
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perhaps i am getting old and sensible,but this kind of action escalates and then someone can and will end up getting hurt
or property damaged .
IF, and it sounds like a big IF, he is doing anything illegal, blocking pavement, parking to close to junction, restricting access for a fire engine - then use the legal channels,
anything else, especially if someone else could end up getting the blame, is just stupid and asking for trouble in my opinion.
and yes I CAN talk at the moment, as i have an issue with a neighbour from an adjoining street parking on the road I live on who doesnt even use their own driveway
ours is the silver astra, theres the 4x4.
(http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp359/chuffs69/A2C78E5C-B0CF-40B0-A943-63E48940FD97-5541-000008B83DF52FD7.jpg)
(http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp359/chuffs69/E50333DE-E57E-4F34-9ABD-3AAA06D69D92-5541-000008B90F2A3AB8.jpg)
:smiley:
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perhaps i am getting old and sensible
Must be! I was waiting for you to comment on this thread about car dismantling :whistle:
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perhaps i am getting old and sensible
Must be! I was waiting for you to comment on this thread about car dismantling :whistle:
there has been no mention of a bloke hitting a woman :lipsrsealed: otherwise I might have offered :wink:
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This is just a laugh, to drop a not so subtle hint to someone who doesn't take subtle hints.
No takeaways or taxis to be ordered as someone is going to end up out of pocket and it's not fair on the guys trying to make an honest living.
Just a little practical joke wanted so everyone can laugh it off in the street without actually any harm doing. It's not like we're all mates in the road but you can just tell he pee's everyone off by the fact that we all left our cars jutting out into the road (like he does) earlier and yet not one neighbour spoke to the other at any time. So when he came home he had just as much of a problem accessing his drive as everyone else and miraculously a bit later the French POS was parked somewhere more sensibly.
And just after it moved a few neighbours closes up the gap it was parked in with their cars so he didn't have room to move back. Now the whole road is parked sensibly, everyone has plenty of room...
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perhaps i am getting old and sensible,but this kind of action escalates and then someone can and will end up getting hurt
or property damaged .
IF, and it sounds like a big IF, he is doing anything illegal, blocking pavement, parking to close to junction, restricting access for a fire engine - then use the legal channels,
anything else, especially if someone else could end up getting the blame, is just stupid and asking for trouble in my opinion.
and yes I CAN talk at the moment, as i have an issue with a neighbour from an adjoining street parking on the road I live on who doesnt even use their own driveway
ours is the silver astra, theres the 4x4.
(http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp359/chuffs69/A2C78E5C-B0CF-40B0-A943-63E48940FD97-5541-000008B83DF52FD7.jpg)
(http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp359/chuffs69/E50333DE-E57E-4F34-9ABD-3AAA06D69D92-5541-000008B90F2A3AB8.jpg)
:smiley:
What is the issue with the chap parking on the street? or is he obstructing your property in any way?
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they have aprked that close to the wifes car. then park the other car that close to the other end.
Even I wouldnt get it out :lipsrsealed:
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Dog sh!t on his door handles? :grin:
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they have aprked that close to the wifes car. then park the other car that close to the other end.
Even I wouldnt get it out :lipsrsealed:
A quiet word is in order then :lipsrsealed:
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they have aprked that close to the wifes car. then park the other car that close to the other end.
Even I wouldnt get it out :lipsrsealed:
A quiet word is in order then :lipsrsealed:
nah, there will be a few LOUD ones when she needs to get it out :grin:
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something ive recently learnt is that its not illegal to park over someones driveway if you are not blocking them in so if you wait till he goes, park a random old car in front of his drive and leave it there it will piss him off and if its taxed it cant be removed! haha
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something ive recently learnt is that its not illegal to park over someones driveway if you are not blocking them in so if you wait till he goes, park a random old car in front of his drive and leave it there it will piss him off and if its taxed it cant be removed! haha
a decent tow rope would sort that :whistle: or a brick :grin:
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Listen me me very carefully.
You will need.
- 1 old newspaper.
- 1 very thin plastic bag.
- some very smelly pref warm dog crap.
:smug:
- some lighter fluid.
- a video camera
Now, all you have to do is 1st arrange the dog poop within the extremely thin carrying bag, then place this on the gentlemens doorstep (you will need to tie the bag up) then place the very old already read newspaper on top of the extremely thin carrying bag containing pref warm, very smelly dog poop. :smug:
Place a good amount of light fluid on top of the newspaper, then (this is the difficult part) set it on fire and knock his front door VERy hard and run away, and aim your video camera at his doorstep ensuring that he does not see you.
When he opens his door all he will see is fire, his instinct will kick in and he will then start to stamp on the fire to put it out, by doing this the lovely dog poop that you so carefully arranged within the extremely thin bag will spatter all over him, job done :cool: