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General => General discussion => Topic started by: tinman on 30 May 2003, 02:29

Title: Golfs are like women
Post by: tinman on 30 May 2003, 02:29
Just musing these thoughts earlier....

Golf Mk1.

This is your 18/19yo female. Looks good in anything she dresses in, may be a virgin if your lucky. If shes on your arm, you are a proud bloke

Unfortunately, the maintenance is a bit high. She wants to party every night - you have a job to go to in the morning - and she doesn't like mornings.

Golf Mk2

25yo girlfriend. Pick the right one and she looks good and goes well in bed. Pick the right one and she'll fffk your brains out every night.

She has style, she looks good on your arm, and you always want to be with her.

Mind you, don't get too stupid or you'll bang her on a tree and then the real problems start. Life will never be the same.

Golf Mk3

This a middle age women. You can tell, she has put on weight (maybe love handles) and goes alot slower. Of course, if you dress her up she'll look good, but it helps if you lower the light and squint. Just like an over 30s nightclub. They look good - until you get em home.

Oh, and by the way, your dad still thinks she's a goer. Try not to correct him - he'll get irritated.

Golf Mk4

This is your grandma. She looks presentable, can lift up her skirt and run several feet, quite fast, but then falling is never slow.

She's put on even more wieght, and is really showing signs of strain when it comes to performance. So much so, you'd be best not to try.

She doesn't look good in anything you put her in. Lets face it, miniskirt and clutchless panties do not look good on a 70 year old.

In fact, your probably best to leave well alone.

Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: Brother_J on 30 May 2003, 13:29
:D :D :D LOL Nothing like a good laugh first thing in the morning. Like this a lot.  My raze a few eyebrows though
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: richandhazel on 30 May 2003, 13:40
LOL  ;D
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: 8vgti on 30 May 2003, 14:36
Quote
Just musing these thoughts earlier....

Golf Mk1.

This is your 18/19yo female. Looks good in anything she dresses in, may be a virgin if your lucky. If shes on your arm, you are a proud bloke

Unfortunately, the maintenance is a bit high. She wants to party every night - you have a job to go to in the morning - and she doesn't like mornings.

Golf Mk2

25yo girlfriend. Pick the right one and she looks good and goes well in bed. Pick the right one and she'll fffk your brains out every night.

She has style, she looks good on your arm, and you always want to be with her.

Mind you, don't get too stupid or you'll bang her on a tree and then the real problems start. Life will never be the same.

Golf Mk3

This a middle age women. You can tell, she has put on weight (maybe love handles) and goes alot slower. Of course, if you dress her up she'll look good, but it helps if you lower the light and squint. Just like an over 30s nightclub. They look good - until you get em home.

Oh, and by the way, your dad still thinks she's a goer. Try not to correct him - he'll get irritated.

Golf Mk4

This is your grandma. She looks presentable, can lift up her skirt and run several feet, quite fast, but then falling is never slow.

She's put on even more wieght, and is really showing signs of strain when it comes to performance. So much so, you'd be best not to try.

She doesn't look good in anything you put her in. Lets face it, miniskirt and clutchless panties do not look good on a 70 year old.

In fact, your probably best to leave well alone.



;D ;D ;D

Very good, but possibly more like....

Mk1: Agree

Mk2: Yep a 25yo female, but a bit of a slapper if you get the wrong one as everyone has had a go in it. Admittedly the right one will look good on your arm, but there are a lot of rough ones about, which are very dirty!!

Mk3: More of a sophisticated mature woman, who is tall and slender (Kenco coffee woman) and who has experience in the right areas. May not go like a train but still knows how to get you going!!

Just my thoughts but I could be biased as I own a Mk3!! ;)
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: tinman on 30 May 2003, 15:41
Mk3: More of a sophisticated mature woman, who is tall and slender (Kenco coffee woman) and who has experience in the right areas. May not go like a train but still knows how to get you going!!


uhuh, and how many of these women do we know?

they are rare, and usually they are single for a very good reason. They are psycho! Same goes for the Mk3.

Tin.
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: 87_PROJECT on 31 May 2003, 02:27
and fat.....not phat...but fat as in heavy...but then you do get these "chubby chasers" ;)
Tinman....very amusing anecdote....nicely put!
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: NJ on 31 May 2003, 15:05
""Golf Mk4 - This is your grandma. ""

Oh No so game over for me then  :'(
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: 8vgti on 02 June 2003, 16:12
Quote
""Golf Mk4 - This is your grandma. ""

Oh No so game over for me then ?:'(



I think the anecdote was a bit too general and didnt take account of the R32......mmm mk2 or R32? I think I know which I would choose....grandma here I come!!
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: 87_PROJECT on 02 June 2003, 16:22
I like older women too ;) especially if they drive R 32 !!
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: NJ on 02 June 2003, 16:48
When I ordered the car it matched my age, but now I'm a year older I'll have to go and get it reworked R33  ;D
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: tinman on 02 June 2003, 19:01
I think the anecdote was a bit too general and didnt take account of the R32......mmm mk2 or R32? I think I know which I would choose....grandma here I come!!

I was considering buying a new car this year (or possibly next) and decided against it.

Top of my list I'm afraid wasn't an R32. Its an Alfa 147 GTA.

The reason though for not buying a new car this year (or next) is because I'm spending what feels like the best part of Xk putting a 16v Campaign back together into completely original spec.

Hopefully, the car will be roadworthy in the next two weeks and I'm reliably informed it is very fast.

I will be personally checking its 0-60 on the A3 late one night. I'll post the figures if they are any good.

Regards,
Justin


BTW, roadworthy does not mean finished.
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: tinman on 02 June 2003, 19:04
Quote
""Golf Mk4 - This is your grandma. ""

Oh No so game over for me then ?:'(


you could redeem yourself and give a Mk2 16v a loving home....

they need loving, now most of them have been thrashed. and an engine rebuild won't go a miss.

Regards,
Tin
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: MS1COYS on 24 September 2012, 00:10
Anyone fancy updating this humourous thread to include the mk5 and mk6  :smiley:
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: Mr GTD on 24 September 2012, 09:12
 :laugh: a real good giggle, nice one...(http://smileydatabase.com/s/518.gif)
Title: Re: Golfs are like women
Post by: MS1COYS on 24 September 2012, 09:15
:laugh: a real good giggle, nice one...(http://smileydatabase.com/s/518.gif)

That's what I thought  :grin: