For the early part of this year I was subjected to a torrent of abuse from large pigeons who were clearly jealous of my CS. They displayed this jealousy in the form of sh!t, every single day I would be welcomed to my car covered in the most horrific splattering of kak; I had no idea a bird could contain so much poo and launch it with such accuracy at my car, day after day, whilst avoiding all of the neighbours vehicles. Very impressive.
Well, they must be over the jealousy, as they have now taken to roosting on my car with a daily morning ritual of washing on the collected rainwater or morning due. This results in my car being covered in dusty dirt from the flying bastard rats, more poo, and scratches from their claws.
Joking aside, I'm at the end of my tether now. How the hell do I stop the flying hell beasts from damaging the car?! I can't put a gazebo up and I can't cover it nightly. Why the hell do they roost and bathe on my car and not anyone else's? My prized CS has a non metallic black roof which is always highly polished (under their daily torrent of dust, dirt and sh!t) and the rest of the car is carbon grey.
Any advice, humorous or otherwise is welcome.