trueblue_ips, as you can see, there are so many views as many people out there. And it is OK, as these things are highly personal.
So here are my comments, not so much telling you what you should do, but as an insight into my reasoning/thinking:
90% rear tints - For the overall price, makes good sense. Not only for privacy, hiding items on the back seat, but during the summer, you will be glad you specified them, as the car will be cooler and easier to cool down. No brainer for me. Besides, it gives it a sportier look.
Sunroof - quite expensive when compared to DCC, Lane assist or Dynaudio. I had one on my previous Skoda and gave me trouble... So I used that money for Oryx on my Golf.
Climate windscreen - a must in my opinion. Once you tried it during the winter months, you will never want to go back. It is a safety thing for me. I must keep my car in the driveway and in the humid cold climate (even in the South), it works its magic within 2 minutes.
DCC - Another must for me (especially for the price vs. overall price of the car). [One of the main reasons I went for a new car was that it was almost impossible to find a demonstrator car with DCC & Climate windscreen and Lane assist.] Almost any review of GTI in car magazines says you should specify it. I had Jetta SE (57 reg) and was very pleased with the dampers; exchanged it for Jetta Sport (12 reg) and it was too harsh. The capability of changing your dampers from Comfort ride when you need it for a long motorway journey and to Sports when you are in a mood for sporty driving is priceless for me... And let me assure you, you can feel the difference.
19" Brescia & Oryx white - Depends on how you are wired. Some people want to stand out from the crowd, others like to fit in. Parker wheels seem too boring to many people. Analogically there are plenty of Pure white(s) around. But make sure you see Oryx white first so that it is what you want. It gives the car a premium look. (But if you save money on this and put it into Dynaudio or something more useful, that's understandable. VW really makes you pay crazy for this luxury.
Hope my two cents of perspective are helpful to you.