Grab yourself a cuppa (and a piece of cake, Mcvities Jamaican Ginger cake is my sponsor) , I do like to ramble on... 
Oooh, I love a bit of Jamaica Ginger Cake myself. Got none, though and now I really want some.
I will start by saying that I have never had a Golf, or a VW, A DSG, or a brand-new car, so things I say might seem commonplace or obvious to some who have. I have spent the last 4-5 years driving a 56 plate Astra SRi 3-door and, aside from a Civic 1.5 V-Tec have always had Vauxhalls, right the way back to my first ever car - an F-reg (that's 80s for all you younguns) Mk. 2 Cavalier 1.3...
So, yeah, stepping up to the Clubsport is a big one for me. I have had it since Tuesday and I have around 500 miles on it so far. Mostly taking it easy with some spritely moments here and there - I don't think I have taken it over 5,000 revs yet but have had some flappy-paddle fun whilst doing the 'national speed limit' with Google Maps set to 'avoid motorways'...
In general:
Looks - I love it. The Mk8 shape took a bit of getting used to. Have had lots of admiring comments from colleagues and even random people at the petrol station.
Couldn't agree more. I think it's a much nicer car to look at than the 7.5. Not that the 7.5 looks bad, as it is the car that really gave me the appetite for a GTI a few months ago, but I just feel that it makes the predecessor look a little dated when side-by-side. The back quarter angle is down-right car porn, in my opinion - especially with the Clubsport spoiler. I too have had lots of comments from randomers. From admiring teenagers and petrol station staff, to a chap working on the door at Sainsbury's who pulled his phone out to grab a pic and I even got a thumbs up from a guy in a Lambo while I was filling up. Also, all the kids at work reckon it's "Well sick", so that must be good.
...it drives like mad! I had a little "spirited" drive the other night in sport mode... rev matching down shifts using flappy paddle manual, pops and bangs on a swift lift off, front diff awesome, handles incredibly - high speed direction changes are like its on rails. Maybe need to get some bigger paddles though, the OEM ones are not as big as they could be to be perfect. Think I might find manual gear shifts a lot of fun when I am feeling playful - it certainly was fun the other night.
Absolutely. During my own aforementioned jaunts, I can't count the number of times I let out some kind of 'hoot' noise as I exited a bend realising that I had just taken it 15-20mph faster than I ever have before and thinking 'how is that even possible in a car that's a similar size and weight to my Astra?'. Lack of understeer and the overall balance of the car is massively apparent to me. One corner I dived into a little bit fast and although I was expecting the front wheels to struggle, instead, the car slapped my wrist with a little back-end shimmy before pulling back onto it's rails. Yet another 'hoot' noise moment.
Bigger paddles would definitely be nice. Even with the short lock-to-lock range, I am finding it's easy to lose my up-shift paddle when exiting a 90 degree or more corner....but that could be down to me not being used to that style of driving yet and my old driving instructor in the back of my mind, telling me to not cross my arms too much.
However its quiet and refined in "comfort". Drives like a normal car which is crazy when you see what it can do in lunatic mode.
Lunatic mode is right on the money. I honestly wouldn't want more than the 300HP the Clubsport has. VW really seems to have hit a sweet spot there. Even though I haven't
really floored it, at times where I have given it a bit of a squirt from almost a standing start, you really feel the battle going on between grip and power, with grip always just about having the upper-hand....but only just. I haven't felt any wheelspin at all yet, even when pulling out quickly at a roundabout.
There's part of me that feels that Comfort is a little
too comfortable. A couple of times I have pulled out at a junction or roundabout from a slow roll - 10MPH or so - and felt that, even with a sharp stab of the pedal, it didn't respond as quickly as I had anticipated and caused the person I pulled out in front of to have to switch their right foot position, at least. Again, that may be me just not being used to DSG but, for me, an ideal world would have a mode between where Comfort and Sport currently are that gives a sharper response of the downshift on acceleration but will then settle down to 1,500 revs again when you ease back off to 30-40mph. Don't take that as me saying that it's either all or nothing....that's not what I am saying....but I just feel that there's room in the middle for something.
I've not tried "eco" ... I probably will never even experiment with it.
I tried a little experiment cruising on the motorway at 65 for 10 minutes or so in Comfort whilst watching the consumption and then switched to Eco and did the same. There was no noticeable difference between the two. Comfort mode still enables coasting. I then tried to compare the two modes whilst pootling around a town centre but that went out of the window when I saw an oncoming bridge and switched back to sport to hear some more exhaust note and some pops and crackles instead.
I did have a strange issue whereby I switched back to Comfort from Eco and then swiped down from the top to disable Stop/Start again and it would not allow me to do so. Tried switching to Sport and it was the same. The button would briefly turn red as I pressed but would then go back to normal. Turning the engine off and back on again got rid of the issue, but this was a little weird.
Golf ball pattern mirror downlights and LED lit door handles. Coloured interior lighting nice. Looks like Blackpool illuminations at night!
I have to say I really love the interior lighting as well as the puddle lights. I have the interior mostly set to red because....well, GTI....but I also quite like the ability to have it change, depending on the driving mode selected - white for Comfort and then switch to Sport and it goes red. Again, another feature that the kids at work think is "Well sick".
LED headlights, bright and adaptive main beam lighting great. Not just bright but a much broader spread of light. Watching the adaptive lighting dance around other road users is great. Haven't been flashed for blinding anyone yet.
Absolutely. These lights are one of the stand-out features for me. I leave mine on all the time once it gets dark and I also haven't been flashed yet. They'll switch to dipped in lit areas but as soon as you pass that last streetlight back into the darkness, they 'swoosh' back on and, as Fred said, seeing them dance around other cars is very impressive indeed.
Swoopy front indictors
I'm not really a fan of these in general. Maybe I am just a bit old school and feel they look a bit pretentious but meh, it's a minor niggle and I don't have to look at them, so whatever.
The light bar between the front headlights. Some hate it, I rather like it.
I like it too. I thought it was a little strange when I first saw it in pictures but I quite like it now. For me, noticing its reflection on the car in front of me whilst pulling up at lights is a little reminder that I driving a damn nice car now, rather than an average one, and it gives me a little happy feeling inside.
Seats are really comfy
Agreed. I spent around 10 hours straight in mine the other day - only stopping a couple of times to grab a bottle of water or jib to the toilet - and it was only the last hour or so where I felt myself having to adjust my ass, as it was getting a bit numb.
Progressive steering - one turn to full lock - nice! Easy to park!
Yep, nice. I have found myself clunking into max lock once or twice whilst reversing into a space using my palm on the wheel, as I am used to going further, but I will get used to it.
Voice control, can control nav, audio, climate (seems UK GTI's have 3 zone climate control as standard).
Yep, also got 3-zone climate control in mine as well. Haven't used voice control for navigation more than just trying it out once or twice, as I am using Android Auto but, from what I have seen, it works ok, although it seems you have to be more specific with addresses than you do with Google Maps. Voice control seems decent and, as Fred said, responds to commands fairly well, even with my Manc accent. I had a weird issue that I mentioned in another thread where my volume sliders would not increase volume and I had to use voice control to do it (now resolved, so must have been something I did, I think), and it worked fine. Hitting the button and saying "I'm cold" bumps the CC up a few degrees and vice-versa by saying "I'm hot". It works well. I noticed that there's an option in the settings for a 'Wake-up Word' and it is switched on, but I have no idea what the word is. Any idea, Fred?
Gesture control
Can't say I have noticed this. I will have to have another look in the settings.
Travel assist - really nice. This combines ACC with lane centring and GPS map data and traffic sign recognition.
Haven't found lane assist to be a massive pain the bum and needing to turn it off at the start of every journey. Once you are used to the surprise of it grabbing the wheel you just counter it. Haven't also found start/stop to be intrusive either.
The ACC is great, though I found myself having to reduce the distance that it detects the vehicle in front, pretty much down to the minimum. I am no tail-gate by any stretch, but the default setting was very much overly safety-conscious.
Having spoken to a girl at work who has a regular Mk. 8 Golf, the Lane Assist was something that I was concerned about before picking up the car. I am a bit of a control freak and want to be able to take a good line through the bends on an open road, but I also can't be bothered spending a few minutes turning all sorts of things off at the beginning of a journey, either. She used the same word - "Grabbing" - when describing it but after experiencing it, I feel that it's more of a gentle reminder than a grab, in most cases. The only time I have felt it to be a little intrusive is when passing parked cars on my left where I have to cross the centre line.
Start/Stop gets turned off right away.
Blind spot warning lights are fantastic.
Yep, really good. They do occasionally go nuts and start flashing when someone is passing you and I think to myself "Why?" but I guess it's better than the alternative. Or maybe it's just that folks
are drifting a little because they are busy looking at my car...
Keyless entry and keyless start. You can disable keyless entry in the menus. Do it.
Yep. Between disabling this and using a DiskLok, I sleep better at night. Keyless Start still works, even with Keyless Entry switched off.
Options
No options on my Clubsport. I know many don't like the 18s but I really don't mind them as I am not a fan of black wheels and parts of my daily drive would likely be a little harsh on anything bigger, so all-in-all, I am fine with them.
Ideally, I would have liked to have had DCC and also HK Sound but I didn't feel that the wait time was doable for me. That said, I can't say that the regular sound system is bad, nor do I feel that the ride means that DCC is something I desperately need, so it's all good.
And now the moaning section... you knew it was coming 
Missing door kick plates - no nice stainless steel plates on the bottom of the door frame.
Yes, I am now on the look-out for some. Even my old 56 plate Astra has them!
Doors shut with a clunk but need more positive effort to close properly.
Not really had an issue here, although I am used to the huge doors of the 3-door Astra, so maybe that's a factor.
Annoying reflections in windscreen - Anyone with a Mk8 is going to hate me now I've pointed this out.
I haven't noticed this, either. It may just be a seating position thing. I am 6' 3" and have the height adjustment all the way down, for what it's worth. That said, this may have just gone under my radar and I am now going to notice it because of you, Fred!
We Connect problems - Mother of God!
This wasn't mentioned at all by my dealer. To be honest, other than not being 'A Guest', I have no idea what it's all about. I noticed it in the menus and set up a VW ID (kinda stupid to have a feature with the same name as one of the cars, in my opinion, as it makes it difficult to look up info online) via the website but whenever I try to log in in the car, it simply sits there saying "Please Wait" with the circle going round and not much else, so I am still just a guest.
Front assist errors
I get these too. As Exonian said, Mine pop up a few minutes into every drive. I don't know what is actually going on but also don't feel like something that I need isn't functioning. Hopefully this gets ironed out in time.
Wireless android auto not yet available....[snip]....Plug it in still is my suggestion.
This is a little annoying, though, if I can get myself a USB-C to USB-C cable that's only a couple of inches long, it may not be quite as bad. Right now I have to tuck my cable under the flap and it just looks daft. It's also annoying if I have to pick up my phone whilst parked, as I then have to either unplug - turning off my music and nav - or pull the cable from under the flap then having to stuff it all back in again. I need wireless functionality ASAP.
AID is configruable but I can't help but feel like its not as good as the Mk7.5 one.
I can't comment on how it compares to anything else but I like it. It's very configurable for what I need. I have the GTI style centre display with Drive Mode / Gear on the left and MPG on the right.
Steering wheel buttons - annoying. Volume control fiddly/annoying.
I honestly don't mind them and I can't say I have had any accidental presses yet. With regards to the volume / skip track sliders, to skip track, you have to slide across the entire length rather than just from the middle outwards and then you get the haptic feedback as you reach the end and the track will skip. Volume is slightly more finicky to get just right but sliding definitely works better than pressing the end down but takes a little getting used to.
Sliders for temperature. Super annoying. Voice control is pretty good for setting the temp actually.
Yes, at least whilst moving, they are not great during daytime and completely redundant at night. I would go as far as to say they're terrible. Aside from being unlit, they're also in the spot where you instinctively rest your left thumb to give extra stability when poking at the screen with your index finger, when on the move, so I often found myself changing temperature when using the screen. I agree that changing temperature via voice is the way to go.
USB C connections only - dealer gave cable for my phone, which was nice.
Didn't receive a cable with mine but I already had one, so not an issue.
Media play back annoying
Sat nav takes ages to start up when you get in the car, lots of please wait.
Using Android Auto, which seems fine. Plug it in as soon as I get in the car and by the time I have started the engine, put my seatbelt on and switched into Drive, it's on and ready for commands.
There is no cubby hole to the right of the steering wheel and no overhead sunglasses container. The cup holders in the centre console (where the handbrake would be) doesn't have the retractable cover.
Not having the cubby isn't an issue for me. A dedicated place to store sunglasses would have been nice but I can pop them into the door pocket which has a nice liner, so no bother. The cup-holder not having a cover doesn't bother me and the trick button that makes it grip your cup/bottle is pretty cool.
I am really not sure what the intention was with the little, oddly shaped storage spot next to the 'chicken nugget'
but it's a perfect spot to put my vape pen (one year smoke-free this month, after 23 years - woot!) and not have it rattle around. The touch-sensitive reading lights are also quite a nice feature, I feel. Also, I am not sure if it's outside temperature dependent but having the heated steering wheel come on at full, every time I start the car bugs me a little. It would be nice if it remembered the last setting.
All-in-all, I love the car. Have VW skimped a bit considering the price? Sure, in some areas. Would I say that it feels a let-down considering the price? No, not really. The up-sides definitely outweigh the niggles. Those headlights sure as hell make up for having no sunglasses storage and the stupid temp sliders by themselves. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it's a GTI and it's all about the drive experience....and it has oodles of that. I would like to have a go in a non-Clubsport, just to compare, but I am sure that the non-Clubsport owners have just as big a smile on their face as I do.
